I don’t remember if I read this somewhere, or if it’s something someone told me, but here’s a stat plucked from the ether: the average blogger (as opposed to the superstar blogger, who makes money from their avocation) keeps a blog going for about six months.
Who knows what a blogger’s ability to keep a blog going for six months means (or, equally, if it means anything). Maybe it takes six months to get bored with yourself. Or maybe it takes six months to run out of anything to say. Or maybe it takes six months to use up the goodwill of any friends out there in cyberspace who might be checking in on a regular basis.
No, I’m not pulling the plug — though these days I post so infrequently maybe I should. But the past few weeks, between getting kids to school, keeping carpool schedules straight in my head, helping Elder Girleen weather the slings and arrows of first grade’s early days (It’s hard! she’s wailed once or twice) and assisting Younger Girleen as she navigates the rocky shoals of her newly nap-less state, I’ve found myself wondering. Wondering not why? not what’s the point? but just wondering.
OK, maybe why? and what’s the point? do play a part in whatever it is that I’m wondering.
So much of my life never ends up here. (And maybe that’s a good thing, the editoral voice that’s never very far from hand chides me.) Maybe it shouldn’t. The self-professed slant of this was “mixing the water and oil of motherhood and writing” after all.
But at this particular second, those parameters feel like a bit of a box.
Maybe it’s that motherhood epiphanies are few and far between as you shepherd a child through first grade — it’s not kindergarten when everything’s new; instead, it’s just life. Or maybe it’s that a summer of such active parenting has led me to a fallow fall. Or maybe there are certain motherhood junctures when one feels the strongest need to give voice: when the baby is born, when the first one starts school, and now just isn’t one of those times.
Soon enough, I predict, Media Studies scholars will take as their research topics like that, and we’ll all be the wiser.
But in the meantime, what we’ve got going on around here is just life.
This morning, Younger Girleen and I took my car to the shop, driving eight lanes of interstate to get there. Early morning sun palmed the guy-wires supporting the cell towers arrayed along the right-hand shoulder of the road. A guy in an Expedition, the name Magnolia snaked across one forearm, asked in gestures if I’d let him merge in front of me. I complied.
One of the things that needed fixing in the car was the radio, which has been on the blink for months. The mechanic changed a fuse and …. voila! As we drove back through town, Atlanta suddenly looked like the setting of a movie. A movie along the lines of The Wire, but a movie all the same.
Everything looks good when you’ve got the right soundtrack.